Unicorns, Pubic Hair, and Grooming. Our Advice Gurus Bare Their Souls (Answers)

Dear TheGaze,

I recently hooked up with a guy and (oops) forgot to groom the estate lawns if you know what I mean. Is pubic hair a deal breaker? And also, what’s the deal with Brazilians anyways? Feeling like the last unicorn with any hair over here. If you could offer me your opinion re: pubic etiquette that would be great.

Thanks,

The Last Unicorn.

Ask Her.

Dear feeling like the last Unicorn,

So you forgot to groom the estate lawns. Ever consider the fact that your guy is so stoked he got a view of the castle that he doesn’t even notice the grounds?

You’re worried that you’ve turned off your recent hook-up because of a little overgrowth, but you’ve got to wonder, if that’s the case how big of a loss have you really suffered? Let’s not forget here that the man is having sex with you – a sometimes intimate yet always messy activity – and if he is so bothered by a stray hair (or ten) that he can’t bear to hook up with you again, than perhaps he should keep his privates where he can guarantee sterile hairlessness, like I don’t know, the palm of his hand.

Granted, most of us have particular preferences for how we like to keep things arranged down there, both in ourselves and in our partners. While it’s true that some women swear by Brazilians, just as many women (and men) choose to let their hair down, so to speak. That said, a preference is far from a deal-breaker, and it should probably stay that way.

Just as it’s no fun sleeping with someone who’s pulling out the measuring tape to assess and evaluate the length of your pubes, the same can be said for having sex with someone who’s insecure about their own appearance.  So I guess the real question here is, how do you like it? Which style makes you feel sexiest? How much time and/or money can you reasonably expect to spend on maintaining it? At the end of the day, it’s yours to groom and yours to set free, so figure out what works for you first.

So is pubic hair a deal breaker? No, of course not, or at least not with a guy who’s worth sleeping with again.

Your Sassy Aunt Renée.

Ask Him.

Dear nameless pubic hair worrier,

You tell me – were the pubes a deal breaker? And if they were, do you want to date someone who’s that shallow?

It’s 2012. The pubic hair pendulum has swung about as far as it can go from the unbridled hairy excesses of, say, 1975 – and I don’t see it swinging back anytime soon. That said, Brazilian waxes are (in the opinion of this humble faux-rabbi) more than a little ridiculous. I know plenty of dudes who get freaked out by a totally hairless partner. At the same time, a little judicious trimming can go a long way. (That goes for both ladies and gentlemen, of course.)

Here’s my proposal: Screw society’s expectations, and do what feels comfortable for you. At the end of the day, they’re your pubes, not your partner’s. But you may want to ask yourself: “What level of trimming do I expect from a partner?” It only makes sense to keep your own business equally well-coiffed.

You can even use your public hair as a litmus test for potential mates: if he’s comfortable with your style of choice, he could be a keeper. And if he demands you go the Brazilian route, make him do the same. Then you can both be freaky hairless lovers together!

Happy grooming,

Rabbi Solomon

Have a question for our advice gurus? Email info@thegazemagazine.ca for all your romantic/relationship/real life woes.

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