Leslie Hates Turtles

By Britt Harvey

LESLIE KNOPE.

We love you. You’re smart, funny, kind, more than a little bit disturbed, but most of all you’re a great friend.

Leslie Knope, played by dynamo Amy Poehler, is the titular character of NBC’s brilliant Parks And Recreation.

You’ll be hearing a lot about Leslie here (she’s one of my favourite TV characters of all time and yes, the Swanson is definitely included in that list).

Though Leslie and I diverge in many ways (not a huge fan of waffles and whip cream, I know, I’m ashamed) we do agree on turtles.

Turtles? What is the DEAL with turtles? And I’m not talking about the majestic sea turtles here. I’m talking about the tiny little nothing ones, so imperious and haughty inside their shells. Like, how about you say hello now and then? Would it kill you to roll out the red carpet welcome every once and a while?!

I’m only sort of kidding. I realize turtles are only one scent of the magnificent potpourri we call NATURE, but let me spare my soliloquies for more exuberant members of the animal kingdom.

However, about five years ago I did accidentally run over a turtle on the highway (those guys aren’t necessarily known for speed) so maybe my turtle dislike stems from a secret shame at causing the untimely death of a beloved turtle husband/father/brother/mother (cause really, who can tell?)

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